Local woman bravely blames Trump’s racism for getting laid off after winning...
Nadia Ziegler chose a stunning and brave degree at her $28,000-a-year college: Women’s Studies, which put her into debt upwards of $115,000. Unfortunately, there weren’t too many jobs open for Women’s...
View ArticleBREAKING: Rep. Omar and husband to divorce, agree to see other siblings
Leftist congresswoman Ilhan Omar and her husband – the father of her three children – have split and are heading for their second divorce, Genesius Times has learned. They have also agreed to see...
View ArticleBreaking: Last known visitor to see Jeffrey Epstein alive identified
I have been reliably informed that we now know the name of the last person to visit Jeffrey Epstein before his untimely death. Bellary Clanton is his name. Clanton claimed to be a distant relative of...
View ArticleDescendant of noble European culture tearfully apologizes for beautiful...
Not to be outdone in the trendy olympics of progressive self-flagellation, John Wilmore mass a grand sweeping apology for everything his ancestors ever did. This was a hefty task to undertake, but...
View ArticleOpinion: How can I impose my values on you if you are armed to the teeth?
Dear readers, you know the story. Some benevolent utopian seeks to impose his value via force onto his citizens. The citizens refuse to comply and start chattering about revolutions and their very...
View ArticleBeto vows to personally go door to door and confiscate every AR-15
Hahaha. Sike! No politician is dumb enough to do something as dangerous as that. Even one stupid enough to think they can will still have someone else do the dirty work. That is to say, even a genius...
View ArticleNation’s 1st graders explain to Democratic Hopefuls you cant take other...
First it was old man Bernie shouting about taking from the one percent and redistributing it among America’s English majors. Then came Elizabeth Warren, through clever tax schemes and layers upon...
View ArticleVideo surfaces of Justin Trudeau trying to look like a man
Video footage surfaced over the weekend of the Canadian Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau, offensively dressed like a man. The footage has sparked outrage among the whole spectrum of woke intersectional...
View ArticleNew England Patriots: ‘Sex crimes are only bad when players do it’
Did you hear the one about the billionaire owner of an elite NFL franchise getting happy endings in unlicensed massage parlor by illegal immigrants? Oh you have, well what about this one: An elite...
View ArticleBreaking: Justin Trudeau to play lead role in Brokeback Mountain reboot
Justin Trudeau is said to have signed on to play the lead in the Brokeback Mountain reboot. A story about two star crossed lovers, Brokeback Mountain transgressed all social norms and ushered in the...
View ArticleLeBron James releases new cereal for China protests called “Bootlicker-O’s”
Well this is stunning and brave. LeBron James, the best basketball player in the known universe, released a commemorative cereal inspired by the Hong Kong protests. It is called ‘Bootlicker O’s’ and...
View ArticleBREAKING: Epstein confesses to killing himself August 10 in New York jail
Disgraced financier Jeffrey Epstein has confessed to killing himself in a New York jail, quashing months of Internet skepticism and conspiracy theories. “It’s true. I hung myself with toilet paper in...
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Adam Schiff eyed to defend Hunter Biden in child negligence case
With the recent court ruling that Hunter Biden & Lunden Alexis Roberts must turn over 5 years of financial records, it appears the Arkansas child custody case against the son of Joe Biden is...
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BREAKING: Shots fired at Nakatomi Plaza in Los Angeles; possible hostage...
Police, SWAT, and FBI are surrounding Nakatomi Plaza at this hour after an LAPD officer was reportedly fired upon. The officer, Sergeant Al Powell had stopped by the building after receiving what was...
View Article35-year-old agrees to move out of parents’ basement, give up allowance
Millennials have had it hard in this economy despite the boom in the UK. That’s why it’s great to see when on finally starts to make his way in the world on his own with a meager net worth of $45...
View ArticleLEAKED: Virginia Governor Northam appoints Bernie henchman Kyle Jurek to lead...
With the impending Boogaloo set to kick off at the Virginia Civil Defense League Lobby Day on Monday January 20th 8am, Democrat Governor Ralph Northam has a huge problem in trying to defend his...
View ArticlePete Buttigieg arrested for stealing random people’s hamburgers
Mayor Pete‘s presidential campaign may be on the line after he was arrested for running around town stealing random people’s hamburgers. His street name, the Hamburglar, is known throughout the...
View ArticleEntire family loses salvation during drive to church
Theologians around the world are scrambling to make changes to established church teaching this morning after it was revealed that an entire family lost their salvation on the way to morning worship....
View ArticleMitt Romney to assume the name ‘Pierre Diablo’ and move to Antarctica
Talk about ‘persona non grata’, Mitt Romney has earned that in spades as the most reviled Republican Senator in US history. His party, family, dead ancestors, live ancestors, 13 wives, Church elders,...
View ArticleClintons launch new furniture store: ILKEEYA
Since Hillary Clinton‘s loss, the Clinton foundation has been burning through cash without very many new donors. A new income stream has been on the back burner for a while but the cash is needed now...
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